There was a time, many years ago, that I absolutely hated Valentine’s Day. I was chronically single, and it was a day that rubbed it in my face. Most of you do not know this, but once upon a time, I got engaged to a girl who was not Karen. We were WAY too young to be getting engaged, and it did not work out (thanks be to God!). So, after getting dis-engaged (or more accurately unceremoniously dumped), this feeling was compounded by rejection and wondering what the world would be like if things were only a little different. I also hated Valentine’s Day because there was SO MUCH candy lying around. I have very little self-control, and all of these things made a recipe for my annual “February Fifteen,” which I never lost, and compounded over the years.
I am not disclosing all of this because I want anyone to feel sorry for me. Those wounds are healed many times over. Karen and I have an appreciation of our love for each other that is NOT dictated by the holiday.
I offer these memories to you so that you will believe me when I say Valentine’s Day is not for everyone. Whether you are a romantic or a curmudgeon, Valentine’s Day is a landmine field for emotions. We all have various loves throughout our life, some romantic, some familial, some friendships, some by common bonds over various life passions and activities. And, let’s face it, where there is love, there is always the potential for pain.
Some of our loves fade. Like, that person you dated a million years ago, and you can’t even remember their last name. Or there was the person who broke you heart. Or, maybe the love of your life died. Or a marriage fell apart. Or…a million things. Stuff happens. And Valentine’s Day does not seem to care about such things.
Some of you are having a perfectly lovely Valentine’s Day and my blog post does not fit how you feel about the day or about love in general. FANTASTIC! I celebrate your joy!
But I also know that there are many people out there who are hurting over romantic fractures, death, broken familial relationships, friendships that ended, or some other imperfect love. Or, maybe love is just disappointing sometimes. It might even be a pain because you have disappointed someone else who loves you.
I want to let you know that it is ok to kind of hate Valentine’s Day. It is ok to wish it were all something different. Your feelings do not get to be dictated by a calendar or greeting card companies. There is good news, though. The “Author of Love” is always at work. The God who created you will never stop loving you. The God who sent his son to be with you, teach you, die for you, and be raised for you will never stop loving you.
At the end of the day, even when love fails to be everything we hope for, love will ultimately always win because God’s love is stronger than any other love we know. So, this Valentine’s Day, whether you are perfectly content or barely holding it together, I’m lifting you in prayer. No matter what happens on February 14th, just know that God’s love and gift of grace for you is just as strong on February 15th, and all the days that follow.
Grace and Peace,
Rob
PS Here is a scripture lesson for your contemplation from 1 John to think consider when thinking of God's love for us, and the love God asks us to share.
Beloved, I am writing you no new commandment, but an old commandment that you have had from the beginning; the old commandment is the word that you have heard. Yet I am writing you a new commandment that is true in him and in you, because the darkness is passing away and the true light is already shining. Whoever says, ‘I am in the light’, while hating a brother or sister, is still in the darkness. Whoever loves a brother or sister lives in the light, and in such a person there is no cause for stumbling. But whoever hates another believer is in the darkness, walks in the darkness, and does not know the way to go, because the darkness has brought on blindness.
I am writing to you, little children,
because your sins are forgiven on account of his name.
I am writing to you, fathers,
because you know him who is from the beginning.
I am writing to you, young people,
because you have conquered the evil one.
I write to you, children,
because you know the Father.
I write to you, fathers,
because you know him who is from the beginning.
I write to you, young people,
because you are strong
and the word of God abides in you,
and you have overcome the evil one.Do not love the world or the things in the world. The love of the Father is not in those who love the world; for all that is in the world—the desire of the flesh, the desire of the eyes, the pride in riches—comes not from the Father but from the world. And the world and its desire are passing away, but those who do the will of God live for ever...
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For this is the message you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another. We must not be like Cain who was from the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own deeds were evil and his brother’s righteous. Do not be astonished, brothers and sisters, that the world hates you. We know that we have passed from death to life because we love one another. Whoever does not love abides in death. All who hate a brother or sister are murderers, and you know that murderers do not have eternal life abiding in them. We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us—and we ought to lay down our lives for one another. How does God’s love abide in anyone who has the world’s goods and sees a brother or sister in need and yet refuses help?
Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action. And by this we will know that we are from the truth and will reassure our hearts before him whenever our hearts condemn us; for God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. Beloved, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have boldness before God; and we receive from him whatever we ask, because we obey his commandments and do what pleases him.
And this is his commandment, that we should believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. All who obey his commandments abide in him, and he abides in them. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit that he has given us....
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Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love. God’s love was revealed among us in this way: God sent his only Son into the world so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins. Beloved, since God loved us so much, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God lives in us, and his love is perfected in us.
By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and do testify that the Father has sent his Son as the Savior of the world. God abides in those who confess that Jesus is the Son of God, and they abide in God. So we have known and believe the love that God has for us.
God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them. Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness on the day of judgement, because as he is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love. We love because he first loved us. Those who say, ‘I love God’, and hate their brothers or sisters, are liars; for those who do not love a brother or sister whom they have seen, cannot love God whom they have not seen. The commandment we have from him is this: those who love God must love their brothers and sisters also.
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